MY GIRL 2

MY GIRL (THE BOOK)

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Hello Sweet luvvies !!!

So we are done with our Book .. "MY GIRL "

So yay!!

That means you can be able to get it.

Things you should know..


It has an About the Author page.

A list of other books by the Author

It has 15 chapters in all.

MY GIRL

                            SYNOPSIS                                                                          

                                                                            ****
"MY GIRL”’
Sean O’Connor was drunk that night for the graduation party so drunk that he didn't remember half of what happened when he went out with his best friend Zachary Spiff.
 A month later a girl showed up saying she was pregnant with his kid.

He denied.. because he didn't remember. He drove off and left her chasing after him. He forgot all about her.

NEVER HAD

                                                                          ****

I remember her…Vividly now..
She used to pull my hair
..just to get me to stare..
Whenever I got distracted somewhere
..by other things other than her to even bother to  care..
She was a year younger.. I realised now..
She used to follow me up the stairs..
Just to catch me unawares
Whenever I tried to go away from her..right there
She would cry …and pull at her ears so so I could regret and keep her with me here..
Over the years…I could tell now..
She was as shy as a dove..

IF WALLS COULD HEAR OR SPEAK..

                               *******
Within these walls..
Alot seen alot heard..
Life began life ended..
So many stories
So many atrocities. .
If only the walls could speak all they have listened..
What would it be?
Within these walls..
Alot gathered. .not from crumbs not from the gutters..
So many darkness..
So much lightness..
If only the walls could speak..

NIGHTMARES ARE MADE OF SUCH THINGS..

                                                 ******
He had bullied me as long as I can remember. .
He was the master’s son..
He had it all when I had none..
Yet he slammed it across my face as though it was my fault.
I see him eating like a buffoon. .
Swaggering it along …leaving crumbs on the floor..making me pick it up after him..
No making me do it with my tongue..
While he laughed at me..and spat on me..
I Hated him
So much so..I wish he would choke on his food and slum…
I woundnt help him.
No I wont help him.
I swore it..

SOMETIMES..

                                   *******
Sometimes I wonder why am even here..
Why i even stayed..
Why I even bothered..
Well…No…
I stayed because I loved…
But really it hurts when it feels like you are the only one here…
In it..
In this…
Just one sided..
And that’s just wrong..
I miss it.
I miss all of it.
The good times…
The happy times..
When I was happy..
When I was trully happy…

MY BOSS-AGAIN!!

                                                              **********
It would have been perfectly okay…
Infact remotely okay if he didn’t have to shout it down our ears every morning and every now and then.
As soon as we get into the office by a few minutes to eight..
He rounds us up in a prayer gathering…
He preaches as though his life depended on it.
He threatens to rain down curses on anyone who dares to speak evil against him…He said his tongue carried fire.
If we doubted him we should read the bible.
Quoted a verse affirming the power of the tongue.
See Am not a pagan.
Am an occasional church goer.
Ok lemme not lie .

SPOKEN WORDS!!!

                               
                                 ***
Often times we speak without much of a thought..
We make utterances which when gone..can’t return..
Do we realise the damage we have caused?
Then we should never say words that hurts..
Often times we make such sharp retorts.
In our anger..
In our pains..
We simply let it run..
We may have felt bad after the trail is gone..
But we can’t stop the pain when it has begun.
Often times we wish to say things unworthy
It comes out all harsh and unscuffy
Have you ever thought to rather speak softly..

LOVE IS...

                                             ***.
Love is…
A feeling…yet not quite understood.
It’s felt yet not tangible. .its undertood and yet simply misunderstood…more times too numerous even for the fools.
Love is..
Trully a remarkable thing…
It looks past scars..hurts..flaws…
It prefects even the illusion of imperfections…
It covers even the voids of one once broken soul…
Love is..

I WAS HERE!

                                              *****
I was here….
Here in time to hear your first cry..
I was not more than 3 years old..
I had hidden behind my mother when we went to visit.
See our parents had been close friends since time memorial..they played as little girls…and have been best friends since…so it was normal to come visit when you were born.
I was here..
Here in time to hear your first baby chuckle..
I had thought to myself..in that tender age..that you had the most beautiful laugh.
I didnt understand a word you said then…but I knew you made sense with all your baby babbles.
See…my mother used to bring me along whenever your mum had tea parties with the other ladies..
I would sit with you and watch over you..but all you wanted to do was play with the other kids. I didnt mind much…just as long i stayed by your side i was content.

THE 6TH AND 9TH HOUR OF THE CROSS

                                                             *****
He awoke…out of the dust…breathed into…given dominion…loved and unblemished.
He heard and spoke …with no intermediary needed.
He walked..He saw…He was just a man..but he was the inheritor of such divine goodness.
He took charge. He saw and named..Each for each..much like a perfect combination of numbers..
He was given the power over every thing that creeped,  crawled and flew…He had no  fear. He knew who he was. Whose’s child he was.
He saw that each had a companion…He wondered why…was he any different?
The One who saw and understood..
Out of his ribs…formed her..

IF I COULD TELL A LIE!

Sometimes I sat reminiscing of so many things…
If I could tell it all it would spark so many controversies…and yet it needs to be …as it should be.
Xoxoxo
If I could tell a lie….I would say we were happy …
I could say…while we were still very much a little tiny bundle..we were loved by all…a blessing not a curse..
I could say..we had the best family..and no ripples…just pure good no bads and misgivings and was doted on…

EVERYONE IS SPECIAL TOO!

                                          ******
Often times we forgot that we have gone a whole week without eating.
We have walked miles and had sores under our feets..
We have slept on hard surfaces so much that our bodies have become used to it.
We have been beaten so badly by the rain…it had become our shower.
….I think people forgot that we are humans too.
Often times the scorching sun burned our skin…
We are tired out from… begging  from hand to hand to feed our mouth…
Sometimes they fail to see the tears in our eyes…when they turn us away…
Or the old woman by the corner…battling flies away from perching on the little boys sores…that’s the woman who bore me and my little brother sick from day memoral….

I AM MY FATHER''S CHILD

                                                     *******
As a little girl….There is always that perfect man you look up to…that one man you first grow to love…that one man that first becomes your hero…that first man that first becomes the love of your life…
That one man you aren’t scared of no matter how much he scolds you because you know he loves you and does it out of love.
That one man that takes you on your first piggy ride. The one that plants the first kiss on your chicks…that man that would beat himself if he much as Let’s anything happen to you…that one man that buys you your first gifts and takes you on your first date to see the world as soon as you let go of your mother’s grasping hands.

MY BOSS!

                                                    Xoxoxoxox
The sounds coming from the next room was excruciating…literally.
I had being awake for the past 2 hours being disturbed out of my sleep…because those two wouldnt just stop hitting it so hard threatening the wall …
I have a sad feeling it wouldnt bear it for much longer…The springs of the bed was crying out in squeaky – squeaky sounds…The stomping sounds almost sounded like large drums beaten in the arena for music festives. ..not like they are in any competition….so they could atleast take it down a notch…
But Hell No!!!
. ..and the wall was so thin I could literally hear every moan…groan…obscene words spoken in  between and the kpas kpas sounds…of hands slapping butt or skin to skin…I couldnt tell…and the Aahhs  and Yeahs! !

August!!

………
May stumbled out in no rush..leaving June in its wake..fresh and hearty promising nothing short of delight.
Half of the year it stands saparating two halves …One from the beginning the other to the end…like an equilibrium point…situated in the middle..weighing one’s performance and making sure one exceeds expectations.
It comes soon after as the sun rises..raising it’s head peering with no disguise…sure of itself desires no footing of undecisiveness…making sure the auro of its presence is a thing of joy for the mere mortals to exercise all prowess and tune into the ambience of opportunities it holds.

FLASHLIGHTS!!

                                                                   *****
When tomorrow comes…even though the road is tough…I look up to the sky…I see your light shinning down on me like a flashlight.
Getting me through the storm…even if it doesn’t rain I know I’ll be ok…I won’t be afraid..even when it’s dark..I look around and see ypur sweet love….then I let go and let you in…Cos your love be shinning bright…blinding me…like a flashlight#

Life through the circle of a Butterfly!

*******

It was sunny and I felt my cloths clutching to my skin..felt damp. Needed the cool breeze of a virgin rain..gushing on all sides like the waves of an ocean. I was in a garden..I realised. Didn’t know how far I had walked but I have indeed taken a longer stroll than I anticipated. I was patched. My throat felt like dusted clay. No shops close by. I could go back home from the way I came or walk  on down to where the path leads..haven’t thought about it that much. Still being in the adventurous spirit I proceeded without knowing my destination.
I had alot on my mind..but I couldn’t quite find the route to prick my thoughts and pinpoint the dilemma.
But I knew it all summed up into one word…”LIFE”.

IT'S A MESSED UP WORLD WE LIVE IN!!

                                           ************ Life has taken a different course from what it once was…people have changed…beliefs have become distorted..actions has taken a toil for violence…thoughts have become polluted…chaos and mischief becomes a trend…its a messed up world we live in.
Perfect in remembrance …The world was made without sin..formed in all that was good..filled with beings of divine creation…made in perfection…from the earths very own …taught to live…given free will…not to sin..but to decide…The path on their own..showed the way…pleaded to forsake the dark…yet…One tiny mistake…that bite from the Apple. .everything took a different turn…now sin abides..on every wake…its a messed up world we live in..

REST ON EVERYSIDE

                         ********** Over time…in sweats and out of rest..
We have toiled the soil till no end..
We have watered the seed..still no sprout of growth..
We have laboured..yet in vain..
We have thought God has forgotten us..
God says..He shall give you rest..rest on every side.
When sorrow strikes as if there is no end..
When night feels darkened by the woes of the enemy..
When the morning comes…The sun begins to shine…God says..”I will give you rest…rest on everyside”.
When the wicked rejoice with the riches of their filth..
When they mock you and break you…

IN THE STREETS OF NAIJA!!

                                                      *******In the streets of Naija..
A land vast and green..
The Giant of Africa..rich in oil and resources..beautifully intricated..culturally integrated..tribalistically positioned..black and fair of skin..strong and bold as steel..And yet yet..
Poverty lingers..leaving hunger in its wake.
Children hawking..cripples begging..organisations in disarray..country up in chaos..
And Yet..yet..

THANKFUL

                                                                  *****
Every morning…just as the yawning comes..The twist and turns of the stretches. .The elongated body..The flabbing of hands and the fluttering of lashes as they welcome in the dawn of a new day. Never quite understanding the workings of nature..but nevertheless awaken to the dawn of another day..planning ahead trying to jumpstart and make progress without delay.
We should never forget ..Whilst we slept and snored into the nights..never knowing if tomorrow will come unharmed or we wake up scarred..someone watched over you..protecting and making your future sure…your family and friends too.

I MISS YOU MUM

PS:    JAXTER WRITES

ITCHY-FINGERS CONTIRBUTES

                                    TRIBUTE TO HIS MOTHER ... REST IN PEACE

                                                                 *****
ITCHYFINGER :

"" No one ever tells you how to live with it..
No one ever quite understands that searing pain that chokes you..seizing your breath and you feel suffocated…
I know it..because I have also felt it too….its deafing. ..that pain!!
…
If begins to hurt like hell  when you realise that..that smile was the last..that rich laughter was the last sweet sound you’ll ever hear of that loved one..that voice that spoke to you..scolded you..cautioned and adviced you..and spoke silent volumes of love breaking your every core would be the last..
You walk as though unbelieving..seeing shadows of their mere existence..hoping that it’s just a bad dream..hoping your name be called out and you turn..seeing that perfect masterpiece God created…urging you with a smile or a wave of the hand..you still can’t quite understand..

BE-INSPIRED!

                                                                          ******
I’ve come to realise that..life isn’t a bed full of roses. But while we are here..we might as well party and might as well make the most of it..plus never forget to plan..achieve..be the best you can be..and give..that’s how you’ll win…
Appreciate those lil things, give..share..love and be happy. Do what’s right..be legit..pray..because prayer is the key to unlock all breakthroughs and give thanks…because thanks ushers in blessings from above..and when God decides to bless you you won’t have eoom enough to take it all in….give honour to whom honour is due…. #DearGod#…Never forsaking the gathering of the brethren… because thal feel of belonging tells you there is no greater joy than sharing that wonderful peace with people who understand exactly what is..
Life is a journey..We learn as we go. Yes we may be hit hard rock and fall hard on our  back..but what matters the most is when we get back up, dust our selves and keep going.

BE THERE FOR YOU INSTEAD!

                                                                           *****

…………….
Have you ever been in a bad situation and you reached out for help and you found out that no one was there…
You literally reach out in the dark and all you feel is that huge deep void of emptyness…like you are grasping for nothing in the dark….?? All you feel or see is nothing…like everyone and everything went up in dark smoke of nothing. It can be disheartening.
We all need someone to depend on..We all need a helping hand…no man is an island on his own…but what happens when you eventually need that hand and it hides itself from you in the direst of situations…where does that leave you…how do you regain that composure gone?
And do you…go on when all hope depended on that…ray of hope that would have brought back the sunshine …and brighten your path.

JARS OF BROKEN HEARTS #

                                                             *******
“I swore..Never again!! Never again!! Will I ever feel the sting of torns of roses. Let my guard be dropped and get my beautiful soul be shattered into pieces.. I swore it, and yet again. I staggered with pain, even now..as I allowed the unforseen, I let the smirk and the drawls pull me back in..and now I bleed, I bleed jars of broken hearts””!!
“I swore..Never again!! Never again!!
To believe in those empty words of affection.
Let my eyes be blinded by the show of pretence,
Give in to the pool of “I’ll make this right where others have failed”
Fell heads over hills unknown that I was hitting the hard flow of current that ensured the rise and high of the emotion tide.

Master of Heaven, Master of Love

                                                       *****
Love and those little things!!
From dust we came to, to dust we would return,
From rib she was formed and him, that rib was made his own
To love to care and to protect to own.
That’s a definition to our own kind of love.
But I’ll give you an insight to God’s love divine.
He’ a mistery we can’t phantom
He’ not flesh and blood, not even a man
Yet he walks amongs us, breath and lives
A God amongst men. A God amongst gods.

From the Unkown to the Known..

                                                              *****

Contrary to what you’ve been told..
Contrary to what you’ve been warned about..
Contrary to your beliefs and set faith..
Nothing is at it seems..
Often times we get carried away by the superfilious and therefore we lose depth of what should be and not what ought to be…
We accentuate our thoughts and actions on what we supposedly think and not what is right..
We lose focus..we lose definition and we lose self…and once you’v missed all of that..you’v got nothing.
Life has a way of shocking you out of your joints and make you face discomforting situations that we never plan for..

SAME SWEET GOD!

                                                   *****
He is the same sweet God. While the child is been formed, nothing but feotus in his mother’s worm,
While he grows and learns to see right from wrong,
While he becomes a man and tills the ground, and calls a companion his own,
While he runs around with his offsprings and brings joy to his household.
He is the same sweet God.
While the choas and misfortune fills the earth,
While the heathen curse him and pleasure themselves
While they assume he is naught but a fiction, a mere legend told to children to cast fear on them to stay on the right part,

A WHILE IT'S BEEN!!

                                                 *******

Yeah!!
I know I know..
A whole month of the sept..rolled by without a word.
My bad earthings…life happened!!
So my sincere heartfelt..all the way to the core soul of my very being…totally feeling-apologises..*winks*..to the entire fan base.
So now that ..that is out of the way…
Let’s get down to business shall we?
Cool..why the hell not.
And business?..really I don’t know what or why I even said that. I really and truelly have no business intention today.
Infact I have no intentions at all..*stops short”..ok well I did initially but it sort-of flew out of my thinking window.

LOOK UP!

                                                                      ****

Crisis..crises..life is so full of biases.
Racism..critisims..all in the shades of hoodism.
Lies..cries..fights..eventually does dies..
When we stop our insane life displays and look up up..to where the father stays..heaven divine..glorious with shines.

Anger,envy, lust, to covet, fornicate, to steal…”The evils” of sin..can be displayed as red for it screams danger…but all this goes away..when a sin for a sin..is replaced for salvation for the blood of Christ…proven and tested..glorious divine..when we look up up..and surrender ..all..to the father…GodAlpha..GodOmega..God Glorious…impecable in His ways.

FRENEMY!

                                                            *****……Have you ever wondered why people saying..”Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer”…?
Wouldn’t you want, in the realistic of senses have your enemies further away from you as humanly possible as they can get?
If its possible they go extinct or in another planet..its fine by you. Or if you heard they got hit by a bus or got ran over by a train ..you’ll probably dance naked on the streets and kiss all the mad men because your happiness would know no bounds…”Your enemies are gone and done for”…..who would ever cast an evil eye on you now or wish you the most devilish evil things?

I NEVER!!

                             *****

…I never thought I’ll miss, the little thoughts of joy,
it crepts up on you, Just when you least expect it,
but take note not to brush
it aside just because,
its the very essence of life,
that comes without total loss.

…I never thought for once, why life is as hard as it looks,
It’s ups and downs slopes..that goes up like moutains never ending,
Hits you from the most painful,
Mulches and spit you out just thesame,

Heaven Please...

                                                               *****

We came, out of nothing..simply dust..breathed into and made flesh.
We had..simply nothing..but figs and leaves, a garden of everlasting splendour and a father who we could call our own.
We turned away..accepting the fruit of life and death..cutting down our lives resources..preparing the way for life’s unjust..giving the devil a smirk of his hideousness…Now we bare the pain of our own mistakes…. Heaven please!!

Children!!

                                                                 ****

Tiny fingers..mother’s lip will bite. Soft buttoms..a pat and a rub giving the lil babe so much delight. Squeals of laughter..bubbles and water..the lil babe will joyfully banter.. All these are a pride in a lowly woman’s hide.
The tantrums will begin, the hallowing and crazies..all these a mother allows..because its one of those first plights..they are kids..some things just don’t pass up. And she’ll remember not so long ago when her baby’s eyes looked up to her in amazement..she was a wonder and he was her pride.
Now an adolescent..the will to go and do what they might..disregarding a mother’s warnings, achoring to a father..not hindering what was said..youthful exurberance in full height. All these a mother sees and hopes for the light.

Years come ..abit too soon..a bit older..all too mature..while their mother is old and frail..papa not too awesome on the rail..lil jnrs and sisy fully understand.. The depth of toll their madness as taken on their folks..from while they were mere babes..to now they are made..children can be a whole lot of case. So there and then..they try to make good..all the wrongs ..right the paths that they have so gone and torn..put the smile back on mama’s face and let her know that her children are the world’s best doves…
tender in hearts..blessing to mama’s bosom..All these and more a mother wishes..all in her poor old heart. Children can be a torn..but they are always..so much more.
Children…Joy to the home! No matter…*winks*

LETTER OF #THORNS

DISCLAIMER : This letter has no resemblance nor similarity to any event or circumstances known, nor those it relate to any person nor situation. This is purely fictional. So whatever thought you possess..it is entirely your doing and I am not responsible for that. Having said that…listen to the heart that blEeds of hurts!! 

Dear Remi,
I never believed that this day would come. I sat in that room today with you and I saw that you never cared. That you never loved me. I saw not a glint of the man who professed love to me and sang his praises..you told me you were different..you weren’t. You said you would never be like them..you turned out to be just them, only so much worse.
You couldn’t even tell me to my face the real reason..even if I knew, I wanted you to say it..directly to me..to my face..not behind my back..to me..to me whom you claimed to love, want..and would never leave.
I remember asking you that..question the day before you left..while I kissed your forehead,your nose,your chicks and your lips and woke you up..I had wispered into your ear
” I love you, now and always,..don’t leave me.”

LETTERS OF THORNS

Disclaimer:……this bears no…oh forget it!!…whatever thoughts or reasoning you deduce from this..you are entirely responsible….. Leggo!!!

Dear Patrick!!
#I hate You ..Patrick!!
Today I hurt more than I have.
I realised that loving who
Doesn’t love you back
Is the worst pain ever.
Today I let Go.
Today I’ll let the tears
Flow.

IT WAS A 'BLUE FEBUARY"'

……….Xoxo……….
.
..
…
That much anticipated month “Febuary” gradually crawled in..peeking through the shutters of January..acting as though it don’t know how much everyone, infact the world yearns for it to make an entrance..
For that particular date within its calender days that every heart beats in unison..
For that number that pluses two sevens together to give it a one and a four that got everyone mentally taking note unconciously and subconciously..
“FEBUARY”…those tiny thought momentarily seeking to be part of.
Plans are been made..opportunities opens up a pace..finances are been geared towards achieving certain things..

For Every NEW YEAR!!!

                                                    *****Yay!!
Happy new yearrrrrr!!! *screams and runs around, jumps up and down, high fives everyone, gives them bear-tight hugs, happy smiles..love bursting through..*
We made it!!
We all made it!!
*looks around*
All family members were here, friends and loved ones..even those who have grown apart during the years, those we don’t know, faces, lots of faces, thousand of them in the crowd..but the thing was…
“They were all here”
And for that we are glad.
Some fell by the way side, missing their way,..some buried six feet under, some too feeble and weak to walk through the path with us..

*sadness*
Those times were sad.
While we were kids, we held hands, we fed from our mother’s breasts, looked up to our fathers..because he was our hero..fought with our brothers, gossiped with our sisters and played doll houses and toy stories with them afterwards, threw tantrums when we became teenagers,..even rebelled when we taught our parents where too hard on us forgetting they have been there so know what is good for us.
We grew up..and made our decisons, some were bad, some good, some caused us scars..some scars refused to heal…
From there on..we made more decisions…made friends…some friends impacted on us greatly…good and bad..
We were still growing, some of us disobeyed the council of elders, refusing to aknowledge that our father up in heaven was speaking through them.
We taught we knew it all..

We continued.
Some of us…through live’s lessons..learned from them. Some of us..our scars was too deep and caused us our very existence.
Mothers cried, fathers held on strong, sisters felt lost, brothers became a shoulder to cry on.
This year..has had its turbulence.
This year has also had its amazing moments..
We made neighbours smile, we touched a child’s heart, we blessed a soul, we gave to those who didn’t have.
We loved, we kissed, we were made one,families was made, lineages was born. Life seemed sweet.
A mother’s joy, a father’s pride, a sister’s guide, a brother’s ancor…”Iife was beautiful in all dimentions”

Yet…some people outlived us.
Some found ambitions and pursued it. Some had aspirations and went for it. Some dreamed dreams and made sure it came alife.
Life wasn’t a bed full of roses, some beds had spikes, some had thorns..some just made good use of rumpled sheets and made it quite beautiful. It wasn’t perfect but it was something.
Still…some faces we miss, some we don’t seem to remember, others never left us for a second..we grew up, we grew apart, we found eachother, we made histories, we became legends of our own works.
The Good times..
The bad times..
The times worth holding dear..
This year have had it all.

Now, may years later..to this present day..
We look back and be greatful..for all the memories…the laughter, the joy, the tears, the smiles, the love, the sadness, the bliss, the unspeakable enduring love of the father, his infinite mercies, his amazing grace, his open doors and unlimted favour,..
For finding a voice to speak,
For standing tall when your knees want to give way,
For flying to the greatest heights, soaring as high as an Eagle..
Oh…what a year!!
Some got all their heart’s desires..
Others are till finding their way..
Some others have already come into their place of rest..
Others are hopeful for this coming year..the year of abundance and coming into their set place..

The New year…
Happiness spread out like wings over the place…
Sweet melody of praises going up to heaven..
Hearts full of joy, hearts expectant..
Ushering in the new year with earnest and anticipation..
Show of expert finess of fireworks..
Beautifying the sky with beautiful serenade of rainbow colours..
Such beauty..

A thousand..even a million..thousands of thousands and alot more uncountable pairs of eyes..looking up to heaven at that moment…as the clock chimed midnight…
The uproar of “Happy New years!!” Filled the place..
Everyone basking in the ambience of love, peace and contentment.
We did it!!
We all here..
Faces…family, friends, strangers, loved ones, we made it!!!
It wasn’t as though we were too perfect.
It wasn’t because we were better than them.
It wasn’t because we were holy, far from it.
We’v made our mistakes,..
Learnt our lessons,

We went through the wrong paths, we hurt a few on our way up, envious of those who were at the top,..we were selfish, we hated, we did quite alot.
Yet we are still here.
It wasn’t because he condoned our sins and loved it.
NO!!
He loves us so unconditionally and as kept us..
The least we can do is Do things right this year.
Set our ways right and glorify God who is in heaven..
This year, we remember those who didn’t make it..
We pray for those families and that they have the strenght to bear their loss and see life and give it a meaning..a reason to go on.

We made it!!!
We totally made…
Everyone was here.
In flesh, in spirit…together we made it!!
For that father, we are most thankful for.
Happy New Year My Luvlies!!!
Hurray!!
Hurray!!!
HURRAY!!!!!!

Jar of Hearts!

                                                    ****

Who ever thought that the peircing of one’s heart could hurt so so much.
Who ever thought that one who you gave your heart freely to, unrelunctantly could look straight into your eyes and lie to you, unflinching, with no remorse.
Who ever thought that life could be so hard and you would work your ass out trying to achieve something but at the end of the day..it looks as though you’v wasted your time, your energy and effort you’v put in there because it turned out to be nothing.

What Mama Doesn't Know wouldn't Hurt her ..right?

                                                *******

“Tonight …
We are young!!!! “…..we screamed at the top of our voices..
We danced around with our eyes closed.
We held hands and formed playful circles.
We tiptoed on cold sand.
Swarm in the ocean.
Rushed out barely dressed.
We drank from the icy bottle.
We laughed..we sang songs which we barely knew the lyrics to.
We drew our faces on the sand..

RITA N.O.W!!

…….Disclaimer!!! This letter from and to has no similarities or resemblance to any known factor,incident, persons or events. But if you know the person to whom it may concern or you know the person that has such troubles..i fully deny any acquintance. Wether this is fiction or non-fiction i live that to your imaginations. Whatever fact or fable you deduce from these, you are entirely responsible for your lines of thoughts. Therefore…carry on *uninterested face*
………………………

The Company of Slaves.LTD.Wakama location,District 9,Chinatown,Mars.
19-2-2015. No.69 slave town
                                                                                          From an Aggrieved Employee.
                                                                                          Ninmcoompop .District 8, Rosey town Krypton.
                                                                                          19-8-2015.
Dear Madam, 

                                         LETTER OF RESIGNATION

I, Rita Nwanchukwu Onyenbuka Williams. An employer of your esteemed establishement in slave town wish to ask for consideration of resignation.

Aaaaarghhhh!!!!

                                                  ******
Hate it when everything seems to just unexpectedly spin out of control.
The earth seems not to hold its fort and keep you steady.
Things you’v worked on so much threatens to fall apart.
You seem lost.
You seem bested and all out on nothing.
Life has decked you its worse blows and you’v fallen flat on your face, not just too weak to standup..you also maybe ashamed to brave yourself to face the world head-on and right the wrongs been done you.

Something borrowed, Someone Blue!

                                                             ******

You really have been that gullible lil girl that gets to be played for a bowl of icecream and you get a lollipop in return?
You know it right?
And that general statement comes to your mind..
“Just like taking candy from a baby”
It burns i tell you.
Or what’s worse..
You being totally swept off your feet…so suddenly by a guy so good to be true.
Would say all the right things, do all the right things.
Be there when you call.
Rub your feets when it gets numb.

Dopey-Eyed up!!

                                                                  ****

“”” Lanky he stood..smiles.. so much in mangnitude.
Words he spoke..and yeah I thought he was cute too…
so I didn’t think it was such a fuss to batt my lashes a lil bit, forgetting to shed my heart from cupid’s silly arrows too.
We talked and we laughed..and oh he was annoying lik a few..
we fought..he hated..and oh ofcourse..we made up just d same..:
And there he was..cocky n tall..confident like a tryant hawk…
Showdowing his amazingness..
Lording over others…
Winning my heart…

Trek of Midnight, sleepyness of Dawn!

HERE….OR….THERE? Wish twas known!!

I had often been told..yet i had often ignored as well. Was i wrong? Thought not..but why those it all feel alien to me?…Gosh i know not!
‘No..it doesnt hurt’..i wisper..but within the aching pain screams to heard..somewhere here
*touching the spot where my heart is*..
somwhere here.
Cant explain it’!

What does that even mean? I asked myself.
‘i dont understnd it’….in my confusion i shake ma head.
There is a thin line between reality and a mirage; what is and what is not…but was i to be blamed for that? The way it all played out… oustounds me up to this very moment.
Was being me that bad? Was being honest and true so wrong? Was going on a friendly terrain a wrong move?

From Whence it is known..Dusk to Dawn , Encore!

                                                                 ***

First light.. A break from dawn’s first sight. Magnificient..totally incredible..picturing it from a photograhic flourescent.
One’s palm, obscuring the view from its explicit charm…shots of ray, that threatens one to go numb in total disarray.

Stretches..the twist and turns of man’s sketches..reflective, mental images,blissfully entwined in fantasy made out of dream pledges.
Yawning..inhaling like the world’s suffocating, eyes closed..nostrils flawed out..mist like clear cystals trailing a pattern down the chicks all burned out.

BattleFeild of the Mind

                                 ****

* She picks up phone.. puts on ear phones…clicks on media file..scrolls to music..
Hits the enter button..
“Miley cyrus’s ” Wrecking Ball”..buzzes through into her ear through the headphones..
……A tear rolls down her eyes..
Followed by many more..and thunderous sobs..
…….Rebbecaa was broken….
She was like a fragile..little bird, with chirped wings..never have flown..but wished to soar and be free. She yearned for such..now.

Dauntless! !

                                      ******

He wiped at the sweat that broke from his brows…he fasted his hands on the handle of the stick..and stared hard.
He was scared..tried not too show it…he knew it could smell fear…but he refused to give in yet.
He looked to the far side of the forest..bared..narrow..he could make a run for it..and run back to the village..to the confines of his home..into the comfort…into the arms of his mother.

Beautiful Serenade!

                             ******

Day – Saturday
Mood- Penseive
SpecieType -Female
Specie- Human
Planet- Earth
Status- Searching……….

It’s amazing just how one’s heart works..
What it goes through and then you wonder how it still stays confined in your chest.
At times with all the pain, happiness and excitement you would think it would explode right out of you. But No!!

It takes it all in..every single hurt, every single burst of love, every single utter of emotion..it absorbs… Maybe that’s why….whatever you feel what you do..it is totally heightened.

Miss-Understood

                                                          ********

Clearing…
Surely….
They must all be blind?
(- -)

She sat across them..leaning into her chair…staring at them…they looked back at her..with scorn, hatred, resentment, disappointments and disgust…
Their eyes judged her..
Their mouths filled with venom..

Their words peirced her being..entering her very core..threatening her very existence..
“How could they possibly think she could ever…actually do..wholeheartedly indulge..willingly commit..totally and capably …activily act..without remorse..decidedly…with out the slightest humanly thought…do the most wretched thing ever…??

Ah!! the stated obvious...

#penseive#
Lying down in the dark..i frizzled through my thoughts..
I must have thought up something pretty intelligent to write earlier…then i forgot!#smh
Outt of the blue..my mind drifted..more like digressed..to the simplest things of life we all take for granted..and yet..there is bound to be some people who derive joy from it.
I must have had it all at one point..then they all meant nothing..;when the driving force that kept it going lost its value..something’s got to give right?..that had to go..GET!! I said.

LoudlyQuiet!

                                           ****

Honestly speaking…i have not the faintest irking of what am going to be talking about today ….so am just going to be yapping away whatever comes to mind..whether it makes sense or not…besides sef..:who ever said you must always speak intelligently like you are one harvad student or something..plus its not as though every dude/girl went to school…not that am saying i didn’t go..of course i did go..*so stop thinking that thought*….infact i graduated well…*Baba God na you biko!!! Forever grateful*…so there!!

The Mirror-Eyes of Her heart!

                                            *****

Looking at u looking at me…i wonder what you see.
Looking at you looking at me..i see your face curve into a smile…i wonder what went through your mind.
Looking at you looking at me..a twinkle in your eyes..i wonder if stars turn to eyes.
Looking at you looking at me…words form on your lips..i try to read them and was astonished what i could gather..i wonder if you are mad or high or plainly pulling my legs. I choose to pretend i didnt hear.

GABYLINE''S STORY

                                                                 *****She blinked once and then twice and realized she had slept off with dried tears.
She vaguely remembered how the evening had turned out from beautiful to bittersweet feeling. One minute she was having the time of
her life, and the next she was sniffing, head in hands n pouring her heart out. She dragged herself lazily out of bed..strolled to take a
shower, soaked herself in d bath n scrubbed..like she was removing filth from her..not like there was anything..maybe just trying to
convince herself that by doing it..it would help.

JOY UNSPEAKEABLE!!

                                                        *********

How can you explain the joy of a mother when she holds her little babe in a bundle to her chest?
A child she has carried nine months with no rest..
one who came out unscarred and now sucks at her breast!
Thats joy ontold!!

How can you explain the joy of that man..

Sometimes, Almost Doesn't Count..

                                                          #sighs#
At times you’v felt you were almost falling over a cliff..looking down, seeing the rocks and sharp ends, the deep water and bent curves..to the far beyond of no return..where lives lost were never found…and yet you manage to hold on to the branch …and pulled yourself up..yes u almost went over..but yes..you still there.
Where you ever at a deep end?..

Did u almost fall?..
were you so tempted..wanting to let go because you taught that you couldnt pull back up? That life would be easier if you actually let go of the reins of life..because it would hurt less?
Did life make you suffer?.

World Crazies

We wake up each morning, all healthy and relaxed…sweet dreams , night snuggles and the comfort of family and that of your home to the harshness of this cold heartless world. Yes!! Heartless i say.
The kind of heinous crimes being committed, and the havoc and chaos of nature’s spitfire is just something to worry about and to be totally scared you know.

JENNIFER!! 1

…Don’t get it twisted though…
Just had to cut in, break in transmission..to tell you what’s..up!!
So ..what’s up??
*expecting*
Pssst…ok this is really the part where i expect you fellas to reply me and say cliche’ shits like..
“Oh am cool..am aight..am great..am dracularrr..bla bla blaaaaaaaaa”!! Hehehehe..*laughing*..screw that! don’t mind me..don’t know why i just remembered hotel translyania …or something like that!
No?
Screw you! *poker face*
Ok. Thought so too.

………..Officall BREAK-IN-TRANSMISSION……..

DO IT RIGHT!!

                                                  ****

Ok..first of all…*fighting the urge to say…”go down low”..but…*…it is the almighty April….the Fooling month and shit…where people tend to allow free passes for lies and all…actually i got april fooled a couple of times tho…

One time while i was still in school…*yep..am out of that stressful system thank God.*…i was in class and i got a message from my long time friend…he had got into an accident a while earlier tho..so he was like body pains and shit…but no fatal injuries sha..minor bruises..anyways sha..he said he was at home..*his room in school* and he suddenly couldn’t move …body felt like a log of wood has being dropped on him and he needed to make calls and he couldn’t get up..the massager needed to come for him..and i couldn’t come out cos i was supposed to have test that immediate few minutes…so he just asked for credit so he could call’im..i was like ok…i took permission that i needed to go to the ladies

Headaches!!

                                                                 ****

Its been like 8hours and the loud sound of music is still on…with various Nigerian songs playing …don’t get me wrong …i love music…infact that’s one of my favourate past times…just put on the radio…*mostly at night…which i refer to as my midnight jamz specials…* they play such lovely *not rap and shitty songs*..but soul soothing,R & Bs..slow wonderful songs at night and then i sleep with it..so clarified..i love music…!
But right now…not soo much…my head hurts..why?
A tenant threw a birthday party for her nephew…and you know how kids party can get? With all the clowning and shit…, “come out” and “dance”…”in and out”, lwho won”…”girl or boy”,…and stuffs like that..*rolls eyes*…i never did liked parties like that.. Yeah!! am weird..bite me!!…
Am sure i didn’t attend those when i was a kid and if i did and i don’t remember..am sure i never participated..

Friends-Zoned!

                 “”Brothers by chance…Friends by heart””
 
This isn’t about the friends Zone and shit…this is just the mere fact that some friends should remain friends and aint trying to be more than friends..simply because some people are good at being friends and suck at being more than friends..they just mess it up somehow.
*Not ruling out the fact that some friends shouldn’t be friend~zoned all their life..they need to man up and tell “their friend” whom they’v been mooning and carrying a touch for all their lives that they are insanely into them..bla bla bla..#thats a story for another day#….*

Have You Ever?

                                                           ****

*Having the most saddest look on my face right about now*

You know that feeling every individual has every once in their lives about something terribly happening and they don’t want to ever experience it?… Just sympathise with whoever but nothing of that sort or remotely so…it just don’t and shouldn’t happen to you..right?
Have you every had that?

I do a couple of times though.
For instance when i hear of such things like….
“oh! Danny’s being having those horrible tooth ache and its been swelling like for ages. He went to the dentist and got it pulled out. Hurt like hell..you should see him..”
Am like…*surprised face*..for real??
“Oh poor baby”..

LOVE is Such A fUNNY tHING..

Love is such a funny thing!!
It sneaks up on you when you least expects it
Taps you on the shoulder and envelops you in a hug,
Smears your face with kisses
And smolders you with blushes.
Love makes you smile when you want to frown,
Beckons when you don’t want to go,
You’ll want to dance to the music of the birds,
And soar on the wings of an eagle.

People Respect ''Standards"', Get Some!

Hola signors and signoritas…!!

Its been a long time i hollared at you guys…..missed me?….awwwwww….*dabs eyes*…i missed me too.
Sorry for the long silence…i had more pressing matters to attend…”Midlife crises*…plus the usuall nature circumstances….it could be a bitch. But hey! Am back…so enough of the hooos and haaas…and cocooos…..am about to get this shit started.

Just so you know…the weather was awesome….ah men…i could literally hear the rain man go….”Its about to go down!!’…the rain did wonders…the weather was freaking hot before…and right about now am trying not to freeze my behind to death…all sweater up to my neck plus am actually under the covers…its dark and i got a flash light…you know? …just ncase some alien strange was to make an uninvited entrance…ama stop that dude dead on his tracks with the brightest light he had ever seen…from my touch light!! Hmmmhumm…..*nods head*

Nothing Cool ''Bout CHEATING!!

                                           
                                                               ******

Its almost midnight and I am awake…just so you know am not trying to play cinderella and wait for the clock to chime midnight before i get my night cap on….i was just up watching some movies…and the last one was bloody hilarious…like totally….title was …”What my husband doesn’t know*……
Well its the usuall story one hears about boy meets girl and girl likes boy and boy likes girl too…lotsa dates and all mushy stuff to the walking down the aisle and lil princes arrives and shit and they lived happily ever after. WRONG!!

You see the dude was rich, business was booming and he was anywhere but home majority of the time,always working and too bizy. Now he gave her the world..but not his time….you see a woman got needs doug! Apart from the luxury of life…she still needs body and soul to keep her together…money definitely can’t keep that fire burning….see…PROBLEM!

THE STRANGEST THING..

 

I got the strangest feeling…and yet i can’t really place my finger on it.

As i lay on my bed..listening to Ron Pope’s ..”A drop in the ocean”…i felt that awkward feeling of loneliness, and i wandered where it was coming from..twas crazy really…i wasn’t lonely..so what really was it i was feeling.. I couldn’t tell.

Most nights i stay awake, practically thinking of nothing…maybe taking a mental picture of the way life was right now..most definitely not what i originally planned tho…but..lots of shits happened along the way..some i regretted, some decisions i wished i hadn’t made,..some paths i would have forgone …and some things that was really cool and positive in my life,some things i was happy about and grateful for…basically my thoughts just went around on a random roller coaster….but at the end..i came out and did ok…made me proud of me.

Feeling Blue

FEELING BLUE...

Well yes i should be… I am really not in the best of moods. This is one of those situations that one chips in..”Shit happens”…so the next thing that comes in is…”Yeah well..so deal with it!!”

How many of you got that sibling that you are always at loggerheads with?..*raises both hands way above my head*..Yeah?..well i do.

Don’t get me wrong, me got nothing but love for the sibling but sometimes one needs to take a chill pill, be the grown up, act mature and take the higher road…there is a reason why..”Setting one’s self apart and be outstanding”..is been preached some times. But when the attitude and every other thing screams wrong…its just so frustrating and plain wrong.

ANOINTED YOU!!

        ANOINTED - YOU!

*

Have you ever wondered how despite the dead of the night , the silence of your sleeping heart  you get to to be awaken the next day without fuzz? And others who slept traveled beyond the galaxies of the living?

Have you ever wondered why despite not having the best qualifications, pedigree and the physical and societal attributes you get to be favoured amongst those who have it all from the first glance? 

Have you ever wondered how despite the harsh realities of life,the sufferings and the break down of the educational system, the moral decadence of the society and the ills of mankind you still get to get to the top,even if you aren't at the top you get to constantly move from the place you were to the place you desire to be and despite the lack thereof..you get to live, eat,and keep going even in little?

Have you ever asked yourself,  being speechless and flabbergasted that question. .."How is it even possible that I am here,I made it here despite the No's I have gotten,how is it possible that i get to stand with kings and dine with great men,like how is it even humanly possible that me,a small mere me would be called to address those who  may have  started before me but I am here with them even above them...like...I do not understand how this happened but...OMG!!!."  



It's like you can't explain it..you can really grasp it,  you just know that...This(whatever it is) ..it has got to be the work of a higher being (God) because...how can now?

You gat no knowledge. .
No skills..
No nothing. .

Like you are flat out..unqualified for whatever it is but yet, you got that call, you got that promotion, you finished that project, you are  being regarded as an authority,  your name,status all changed,  levels, every single thing in my life, your life seems to work out (Albeit slowly or differently but it does) and you and i don't know what we did or what you did what I did or what anybody did...all we know is that....

Something good/great/aweome /wonderful unexplainable happened and it had nothing to do with the rules and regulations society and man and others laid down because if it were to be so... you, me, us,them wouldn't have made it through to that job/promotion/ or gotten married,had kids,made that and this and that or that and this and all other things..

But it IS because whatever that is  IN me, you, us is - by the virtue of Who HE is. .. 

Thus, Bars were broken,protocols were were discarded off..Doors opened up, obstacles flew out of the way...

We gat no limitation. .
No delay
No nothing. ...

I am here and there ,big, better and fulfilled and I don't know how...but I know that....This isn't something normal.

I mean...you are living and progressing and being able to do all that you desire and sometimes the breaththroughs and miracles and testimonies that flood your home,heart and mount is unexplainable .

Oh yes it isn't. .

 You want to know why?

Indulge me a little...

It's because of the Grace of God on your life and the vial of anointing God has deposited in you. 

Because God created you in his image and likeness, blessed you even before you were born and positioned you for greatness and the reason why you lack,have disappointments and Excetera it's because you refuse to understand the efficency of the anointing on your your life and apply it dutifully. 

You cannot be a child of God and not be able to use the gifts he has given you to accomplish whom God says you are and who you desire to be. 

It's like being the child of a president and you chose to let go of your titles and behave as though your name can't open doors closed to the average man on the streets. 
It's like having the skills of a mechanic or an engineer and when you are faced with a problem in tour field instead of you to apply your knowledge you go seeking for others tour do what you already know how to do.

It's like having a candle and a matchstick ot a lamb and as soon as light goes you start screaming in the dark when you have the means and resources to light your way in the dark.

It's like having all that you need within you and in your reach but because you do not know or do not understand the intricacies of what you have and how to apply you you because like one who seats in the land of plenty yet suffer and beg for what.

God forbid that we aren't able to tap into the Realm of blessings God has made available for us because we do not know that as his children we are given unlimited access to come into his presence and ask all that we desire...but yet sure we stand at the gate and beg for meagre like those who know nothing of their origin.

Are you not your father’s child?
Why then do you not use that which you are to be all that your need to be?

God has given you the one thing that causes mountain to move, the day to obey you and all that that is below the heavens to answer you due to the reason of that anointing he has deposited into you.

See ehen!!


The anointing God gives you is to cause and motivate the vision and mission you have to take you to another level in your life.
It's to propel a movement of transformation. ...that is a renewal of your mind, causing you not to be conformed to the things of the world, to cast away old and take on new...to make different your thoughts and actions and Misson so that if you spoke and acted in fear,if you are insecure, you begin to be a different person that when you begin to apply the anointing in every spheres of your life things change and lines begin to fall in pleasant places for you.

What God's anointing  does in your life  is that it gives you 1. #Revelations to see beyond the ordinary. 

It makes you 2.#Progressive so that you keep moving higher and higher.

No matter what situation you are in God's anointing in your life provides 3.#Provisions for you at every step of the way so that even in your lack you don't actually lack.

 it grants you 4.#Favour and makes you great so that places you couldn't enter because of your lack you enter due to your anointing and that is why you need to know who you are,who Your father is and start to act like one. 
You do not use another's man's clock to tell your time 

God's time is what you should be after that is why he says in  his word the battle is not for the strongest/fastest or the bravest. .but time  and chance happened to them all..
So it don't matter who got there before you. .all that matters is that...when you begin to utilise the anointing on your life...you are going to #EMERGE like an eagle with renewed wings and a fresher focus .

AND YOU ARE GOING TO BREAK BARS!!!

You can't keep prophesying  negative when your tongue should be used to prophesy positivity.

See, you need tounderstand this,

YOU ARE ANOINTED! !!


So take that anointing and use it.
Don't let it stay stagnated like water...you need to use that oil in your life, shake it....and let it go KABOOM!! like like a fountain of sprinkling water....and by the time it begins to touch the earth of your life... like beautiful flowers it would blossom. ..your blessings and breaththroughs and all things miraculous would be evident.

Why?

Because you gat the ANOINTING !!

AND GOD GAVE YOU THAT.

SO...

#Emerge !!!


#BREAKINGBARS


.~Stephanie Egberike 

Hello Sunday😘


#StephanieEgberike #Writes #Inspiratonal #Motivational #Emerge #BREAKINGBARS #Thesweetperspectives  #SundayNuggets

DEATH WEARS HEELS -FINALE CHAPTER

           READ CHP1        READ CHP2        READ CHP3

  Death wears heels - FINALE
 ” Happy valentine micheal baby “! !

*******

He threatens daina not to say a word. Promising to rain all manner of gruesome unpleasantries on her . He backs her to the wall. Placing his fingers to his lips urging her to be quiet. He adjusted himself . He watched her from the corner of his eyes as she slowly slids to the floor, gathering her dress to cover her exposure. He takes a deep breath, brushing away his hair from his eyes. He opens the door slightly ..realising that it was an attendee from the front desk ..He comes outside instead and closes the door slightly .
A package had arrived for him and he needed to sign.
He hoped daina doesn’t make a sound to give him away.

DEATH WEARS HEELS -CHAPTER 3

    Jump to Final Chp
    Death wears heels 
” Happy valentine micheal baby”!!

**********

Her name was daina.
She was my first pick .afta searching for the perfect girl. She had the right innocence . The light in her eyes and the trust. All which pigs like micheal was attracted to. That and the softness and purity he loved to own. She knew what she had to do. “Get him to the room”.
.
Micheal dressed up quickly and got to the IN before 2pm. She was coming to the IN lobby for tutorials on spellingBee competition. Everyone knew him. Everyone liked him. Every parent wanted their children to be tutored by him. Everyone didnt know his darkest secret. Everyone had no idea the things he planed for little Diana . Today was St. Valentine’s day after all. .shouldn’t he get a little loving too?.

DEATH WEARS HEELS - CHAPTER 2

Death wears heels :
”Happy valentine micheal baby”!

********

She could hear the sounds of music below her window . The cheery laughter of people on the streets. The blast of the horns which turned into a melody. The clicking of glasses and cutleries. And the glee of excited lovebirds over chocolates and flowers and mushyness and kisses.she smiled cynically.
Love is indeed a beautiful thing. Too bad she had given up on such years ago.
.
Ever since that day so many years ago, she had not being able to let a man come close to her. She was a virgin then. Pure and innocent. Before her innocence were ripped away from her in those agonising few minutes. The Fear of a man chased her into her shell. Her nights became a nightmare. Her days were were a shadow of her former self. She was like a living corpse . And every man was the devil.

DEATH WEARS HILLS - CHAPTER 1

  Jump to CHP2  Jump to CHP3  Jump to Finale Chp4
 *****

It was ridiculous. The way his eyes followed her. The way his body responded to her even when she was far away and no where close. It didn’t matter that he was giving a lecture and everyone was watching him, clueless about what played in his mind. All he wanted to do was to have a taste of her. And then he would be sane again.
.
He had watched her grow. From the little girl to a teenager. He had noticed when her chest begun to pop and grow tiny oranges . When her hips had begun to expand . And her buttocks protruded out even a little .
He had been intoxicated by her innocent look and the scent of a child . He dreamt of how she would feel beneath him, soft and small. Just the way he liked it.